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Guest Article
Category: Success / Personal Development
Overcome
ANY Obstacle with 3 Simple Questions
by Jack Canfield
What stands between you and what
you most desire?
Your answers might relate to a
lack of money, time, support from family, or all of these. Obstacles can seem so numerous, so
obvious, and so tough to change.
You can relate to obstacles in
many ways. Typical responses are toexplain
them orresist
them.
Both
responses take a lot of time and energy.And both anchor you firmly in the past, keeping your focus
on areas of your life that are not working.
To
immediately generate alternatives, remember a simple analogy...
Imagine that you're driving down
a scenic highway. Suddenly you come to a huge rock in the middle of the road.
At this moment you have several
options. You could try to explain how the rock ended up there. You could also go into resistance
mode, complaining about the carelessness of highway construction or the lack of state funding
for rock removal.
Or, you could bypass all this
negativity and remove the obstacle from your life at once. Instead of explaining the rock or
resisting it, just drive around
it.
When faced with obstacles,
people often respond with questions based on explanation and resistance, such as:
- Why
am I so alone?
- Why
does this always happen to me?
- Why
am I such a failure?
However, you always have another
option. You can ask questions that help you drive around any obstacle in your life.
Questions have uncanny power.
Questions direct your attention-- and along with it, how you think and how you feel. If you want
to create different thoughts, feelings, and results into your life, then ask different
questions.
Start now by skipping the
why
questions and begin asking what
questions, such as:
1)
What's the lesson here?
There's an old saying about
learning from experience: Beware the person with twenty years of experience. This may consist of
one year of learning and nineteen years of repetition.
The point is that experiences do
not come prepackaged with empowering lessons. Everything hinges on how you interpret
experiences, and your interpretations can change over the years. A single event can take you a
step closer to emotional contraction or expansion. It all depends on how you interpret that
event.
Psychologist Martin Seligman has
made a career by studying how human beings interpret their experience. He notes that each of us
has an explanatory
style. People who chronically feel helpless tend to explain events in ways that
are:
- Permanent:
"I always get confused when trying to learn something new."
-
- Personal:
"I'm just no good at meeting people."
-
- Pervasive:
"I'm just the kind of person who fails to follow through, no matter what
kind of goals I set."
Optimistic people use a
different style. They explain events in ways that are:
- Temporary:
"When I feel confused, I ask questions that lead me to understanding."
-
- External:
"I find it hard to talk to people in bars, so I invite them to quiet
restaurants instead."
-
- Specific:
"I find it challenging to meet long-term goals, so for now I will focus
on achieving short-term objectives."
You
should interpret these obstacles as yield signs rather than stop
signs.
These are signals that the world
is expanding to accommodate your growth. Instead of resisting a challenge, just lean into it.
Ask yourself: How can I interpret this event in a more powerful way? What's a positive lesson
that's waiting here to be learned?
2)
What's great about having this problem?
There's an easy answer to this
question: "Nothing!" However, looking beyond that knee-jerk response can quickly open up your
perspective.
Tony Robbins offers an example
in his book Awakening the Giant
Within. He recalls a time when he'd been on the road for nearly 100 days out of 120.
Returning to his office, he found a stack of urgent memos and a list of 100 phone calls that he
needed to personally return. Before making these discoveries, he was tired. Now he felt
exhausted.
Tony managed to shift his
internal state simply by asking: What's great about having this problem? He then realized that
just a few years ago he would have been grateful to get calls from twenty people--let alone one
hundred people with national reputations.
This insight was enough to break
his pattern of frustration. He found himself feeling grateful that so many people he loved and
respected were willing to connect with him.
3)
What's my next action?
This question shines a spotlight
on solutions. No matter what happens, you can choose what to say and do in response. Rather than
manifesting resistance or explanation, you can choose your next action.
Successful people hold a bias
for action. Add inspiration and intention to the mix, and you gain an unstoppable
momentum.
©
2010 Jack Canfield
Jack Canfield, America's
Success Coach, is the founder and co-creator of the billion-dollar book brand
Chicken
Soup for the Soul and a leading authority on Peak Performance. If you're
ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do,
get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com
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